Welcome to my first post. I should say welcome to the first post of this blog, but certainly not my first first post. I’ve made several attempts to devotedly share my personal thoughts and feelings with the internet, but to no avail either due to boredom or lack of direction. Here’s hoping for much more success and much more personal accountability on content. You may be wondering (or maybe it’s just me): “If you’ve already tried blogging before why try it again for the hundredth time? You’re just gonna give it up all over again.” And to that I say, “Well, that’s quite a poor attitude to have, pal. Come back when you’re feeling like less of a Debby Downer.”
In all seriousness, I’ve decided to start blogging again because I feel mature enough to write about my experiences in a way that is less “Dear Diary” and a little more insightful. I can’t promise that there won’t be any cringeworthy moments because it’s me we’re talking about here, but I promise it’s all in good taste… okay, I can’t promise that. I want to write about learning to build a good relationship with myself through anxiety, depression, and adventures in adulthood. Most importantly, I want to write about the messy parts of growth and progress. I’m starting this blog to remind myself and others that being human involves messing shit up and having feelings and not being your best 24/7… but also to remind myself that I’m not so bad despite all of those things.
So why “Kiana Mishandles Everything”? And why is the “Mis” scratched out in yellow crayon? I can answer that. I consider myself a reformed and exhausted perfectionist. In the past few months, I’ve really strung myself out trying to do everything exactly the way that I planned to. Not living up to my own expectations caused me to weigh myself down every day with disappointment and it showed, to the point where I couldn’t do anything without feeling like a major screwup. At every turn, I would say to myself: “You’re always messing things up. Can’t you do anything right?” It became my daily mantra.
Recently, after feeling really low about myself, I decided to do myself a favor. I decided to tell myself the truth as often as possible. Instead of wondering when I would mess things up again, I would confront each situation head on. If I messed up, I would say: “Well… you messed it up. Now let’s work on fixing things. You can handle this.” I started telling myself that I can handle everything.
Now, that’s not entirely true and that doesn’t mean that keeping a positive mindset is easy. I certainly have days where I feel like the most useless specimen on this green earth. I’ll talk about that too (although it won’t be so nice). It’s all a part of the journey and I realize that accepting that is much easier than trying to fight the tides.
So I say all of this to say–Welcome. If you didn’t feel the need to read through that spiel, here’s a bit of info on some of the regular content you can expect to find here.
- Keeping Candid – Blog entries about my personal thoughts, opinions, and experiences.
- #AThousandWords (known by other blogs as Wordless Wednesdays) – Photos posted that were inspired by one word or maybe just something cool I happened to stumble upon during the day.
- Press Play – Music related content. Playlists, albums you should be listening to, etc.
- Self-Reflection Sunday – Posts about personal growth (or the lack thereof)
- Tiny Adventures: Inspired by Tiny Adventure Club. Reflections of experiences where I got out of my comfort zone… and liked it.
Hopefully I can grow and develop from there once I embark on this journey and assess where I want this project to go.
Thanks for checking out my blog. I hope you enjoy.